Just Today

   Hi =)  Today has been rather slow.  I have Mileigh at home with me as she fights an infection in hopes that her counts hold.  Her counts were elevated as she was on the up side of her nadir and I'm thankful for that.  I think even as a neutropenic parent I sometimes take for granted the "normal" range and just today. 

 Just Today:
   I wake in a fog and my attention is immediately directed to the sleeping child in the room next door.  Has she rested enough?  Does she have a fever?  Dear Lord, please give her neutrophils. 
  As I peel myself from the covers I try hard to shake the pain.  Pain from not moving all night, pain from injections to give me today to take care of the little blessings I get to call "mine".
  I make my way across the hall and flip the light and there she sleeps...cool as a cucumber.  Thank you, Lord.  Thank you for holding her tight through the night.  Thank you for giving her the tools to fight.
  Her sister wakes first and immediately checks on her before heading to go through her check list getting ready for school. 
  The coffee brews, lunches are packed, teeth are brushed, and those groggy sleepy heads are beginning to fully wake.   How beautiful are these bed head children of mine!  She kisses her sister and tells her she hopes she feels better.  She heads out to do her best and this right here is why I wake.  This right here makes me thankful for Just Today.  This is it!  This is not just any life, not just any day, this is mine!
  I pray for those who fight with less than enough.  I pray for those who's tools are less than sufficient.  I dream of what life with three girls would be like.  I wonder what words of wisdom Joeli would have for me.  I listen for the random wisdoms that define Brelan and Mileigh.  I pray one day they know their beauty. 

  Much of this is probably completely random but this is me.  This is today.  This is mine.  This is real.  Take a minute today, a minute to feel.  It might be all we get.  Just Today.  Be Blessed!