A Beautiful Mess!

I am in complete awe!!!  Yesterday Joeli's Song was posted for the public...yesterday over 1700 views were made!  That means "Neutropenia" was more than just a word yesterday.  I cannot begin to describe how that makes this Mama feel.  My heart swells with joy when I think of my angels face and her sweet voice.  She would be so happy that so many children are getting the information they so desperately need and deserve.  I am amazed at the greatness of my God.  It's been nearly 6 years since Joeli left my arms and at that time I'm not sure I'd have believed anyone who told me that God would make this work.  He took this mess, that is me, and made something beautiful!  He made her beautiful!  As often as I fail miserably I'm more inclined to think that He can't do anything with me.  For so long I've thought to myself geez Lord, you got the wrong one here.  I can't do this.  I can't be that person.  I mess up far too much.  BUT GOD! He is so much bigger than my mess!  I am honored to be His.  I am honored to have the support of those of you who played a huge part is sharing this blog.  Thank you.  Please continue.  Joeli would be so proud. 
  You know, as parents, we think we speak for our children.  We never imagine our children speaking for us let alone children around the world.  Joeli speaks for me, for Brelan and Mileigh, for you, for your babies.  I am moved to tears when I think of what could be.  What could be if Neutropenia was given the respect it's due?  The research efforts, resources, potential cures!  It's been 30 years of my own personal daily battle, fighting for Joeli, saying goodbye too soon, fighting for Brelan to understand, and Mileigh's medical care.  Neutropenia, in all forms, deserves exposure.  I can't imagine life without this current struggle but I'd love to have the opportunity to have to figure that one out!  Many of you probably think this particular post is a "mess" haha...that's OK.  For those of you who don't know me personally just imagine the high pitched squeal of excitement combined with a few tears and talking with my hands.  It kind of makes me laugh to think of what possible visions and opinions are of me right now but I am just flabbergasted and overjoyed with the response!!!  Keep sharing, keep fighting!  It may look and feel like a huge mess when you're sitting in the middle of it but He can make all things new!  Thank you so much again and Be Blessed!