Six Years Ago Today

      Six years ago today I watched them carry her away.  A precious soul gone too soon, a part of me I'd never planned to lose.  One last kiss, softly on that sweet face, oh dear God give me grace.  There are no words when I allow myself to go back to this day.  Pale pink casket, gerber daisies, "my Father's house", and my sweet baby.  The building and hillside were full of friends and family.  All there to show support and love, I couldn't feel due to being so numb.  Trauma has an indescribable way of toying with our pain.  Numbness becomes searing, breath taking pain in a matter of seconds and can quickly bring you to your knees. 
    Our family has again lost a member so dear.  Chad's grandmother passed away at her home late Friday night.  As we prepare to celebrate her life I'm reminded of details required to plan a service.  I smile slightly when I picture her being greeted by my sweet girl wrapping her arms around her neck.  I try hard to remember the details of Joeli's service and the preparation there but I'm positive it was He and not I who guided those hands.  Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so...amazing Grace how sweet the sound...it was Him who helped me lay her down. 
     All I know is here and now.  I know His promise and I know how.  One day I'll be there to hold her again but until then I'm called to live!