One Step at a Time

       We walk.  Even from infancy we are prepared to physically walk.  I remember, with each of my girls, being filled with complete joy as I watched their tiny arms and legs kick and squirm.  That feeling, knowing that precious life came from me.  Seeing them grow.  Watching them move, scoot, crawl, and finally take that first step that quickly turned into a full blown sprint!  I smile knowing those memories are forever embedded in my mind and soul.  They are mine.  I can only imagine the smile on my Father's face when we finally take that first step towards Him.  What a sight to see as a parent!  We rejoice over one step!  He does too.  I'm finding this week hard to document...  I struggle to find the hope that I know is promised.  I have no doubt that it remains.  I take one step then another, one breath then another, one day to the next.  The process of life is full of steps, it's up to us to choose to take them or remain stuck.  I must choose to recall the honor I feel when I remember that He chose me to be her mama.  He chose me to hold her for three years and five months.
       I struggle when I think of what she would be like now...almost six years later.  She was the shorter of my three girls so I wonder where her cheek would fall if she were able to wrap her arms around me as her sisters do.  I'd give so much for that question to be answered.  However, I have no doubt in my heart and mind that her Heavenly Father knows exactly where her cheek falls!!!  I have no question that her voice is music to any ear that's blessed to hear it.  I'm reminded of a song when I think of her sitting with Jesus.  Here's the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBg9btpGqKU .  I'm jealous of the angels!!  As I've struggled to compose this post I now find myself able to smile again.  Smile as I remember my little girl.  Smile as I try to bring honor to her life.  So, I take another step.
    Your steps may or may not be like mine.  You may need to take a step through a diagnosis or through a treatment or just through or into another day.  Your or your child's diagnosis may in fact be "rare" by today's terms but you are not alone.  When no one sees, He does.  When no one hears, He does.  Just put one foot in front of the other and eventually you'll be in a different place.  My language is music...it truly speaks to and carries me.  That said I often am reminded of promises that are written...those I can physically put my hands on.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 are a few verses that I've held tightly to even when prayer was only a thought.  That was a "one step at a time" process too!

     Here are those verses: ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

   One step at a time..."exile" is not a permanent place and for me that's one promise I cling to!